


all i needed was the love you gave

by Smudge



Series: we belong [1]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: But it's me, F/M, all other outcomes are irrelevant, because it's bughead, so it's angst, so like, this is what happens when i felt challenged to write angst, we all know how it's gonna end, which is happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 19:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15869901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smudge/pseuds/Smudge
Summary: Sometimes the only way to glue what shatters back together is with sheer determination.Or, Jughead Jones needs to fight for what he helped break.





	all i needed was the love you gave

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IndieBughead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndieBughead/gifts).



> Hey, hey, how you? 
> 
> Anyway, Maria, whom I love and adore made me feel like I should try angst, so here we are. 
> 
> Not sure how I'll do with it but she got pretty pissed at me when I showed her some of it, so uh, I tried? 
> 
> Oh and I totally rocked out to Pat Benatar and the Pretenders while writing this so honestly, this might be their fault.

“The Serpents are my family, Betty, I need to be there for them,” Jughead insists, his tone short while running his hands through his hair, pulling off his beanie before setting it back on his head, crossing his arms and staring hard at her.

Betty deflates. “I’m sorry, Jug.” The raw sincerity in her voice seems to throw him off for a second.

His confusion seems palpable, like he wanted her to yell back. To fight him and for him as she always has. That he needs her to be the person who takes his anger when no one else wants to forgive it or handle it.

“I’ve thought of you as my family since I was five years old, you know? I had always assumed you felt the same way. I’m sorry I didn’t get that they were more to you than I was. Than I _am._ I wasn’t trying to make you choose, Juggie, I just wanted to be with you,” she tells him, eyes watering and fists starting to curl into themselves.

“Betty-”

“I know now that’s not what you want and I’ll respect your choice, okay?” Turning to leave she looks back over her shoulder with a sad smile. “I’ll miss you, Jughead.”

Her heart aches for them both as she barely hesitates as she passes through the doorway of his trailer. She had wanted to believe that her love helped fill some of the emptiness he’d been feeling all these years. How did she not see that it wasn’t enough? Did the intensity of her own feelings blind her to the things she must not have wanted to acknowledge? Acting on faith has gotten her nowhere, next time, she vows, she’ll know better so she can do better. She can be better.

Next time.

There’s a part of her that hopes he follows her, hopes he grabs her and tells her she’s wrong, that he loves her and she’s enough. Of course she’s enough, how could she think she wasn’t? That they were a family and he’s so sorry if he made her feel like she wasn’t a part of him, that she’s just as much a part of him as he is of her.

He doesn’t follow her, though. She hears the click of the door closing and it sounds so final in her ears, making them buzz with the realization that he let her walk away. She decides then and there that if she’s the only person who’s going to fight for her, then that’ll just have to be enough.

Betty makes it home before she falls apart. And the only thing she can think about that night curled in her bed with hair wet from tears is that she hopes he finds happiness one day.

She waits a week to see if he shows up. Or if he calls, hell, she’d take a text at this point. A handwritten note on a post-it, even. Seven days of tears and frustration and wanting so badly to shake him to make him see how much she loves him and doesn’t he realize they can get through anything together? But that only works when both people are invested. Admitting that he’s not might be ends up being one of the most painful moments she’s survived through so far.

The morning of the eighth day she pulls out her phone and sends one text. _Is your offer still open?_

It takes less than thirty seconds for her to get a response. _Of course, B. I love you_

 _I love you too, V_ is all she sends back before grabbing the bags she had packed the night before. Dropping a letter in the outbox on her way, she takes a deep breath and prepares herself for a life she never wanted for herself but accepting it’s the one she’s getting.

 

* * *

 

It’s been ten days since he’s last seen Betty and he’s floundering, his pride keeping him on the Southside when he gets a letter. He recognizes her handwriting immediately and sits down hard on the sofa as he opens it, his heart hammering in his chest.

_Dear Jug,_

_I had always thought that the times I missed you while you were standing next to me were the worst sort of pain. I was wrong. This is worse. You know how to find me if you need me._

_I miss you. I love you. Be happy._

_Love,_

_Betty_

Jumping up, he tosses the letter on the aged coffee table as he grabs his keys and heads to the door, almost slamming it open in his haste. He’s on the motorcycle and gone before he realizes he never even closed the door behind him.

Pulling up outside of Betty’s house, he jumps off but sees Archie standing on his porch before he makes it all the way up the stairs. Stopping, he heads to where Archie’s standing.

“Hey, Archie.”

“Jug,” is the curt reply he gets.

“What’s going on?” he asks even though he knows Archie most likely already knows.

Archie scoffs. “Come on, Jughead. Don’t act innocent.”

Shoulders slumping he nods at him. “Look, Arch, I-”

“Broke Betty’s heart? Yeah, I know.” Archie shakes his head at him, meeting his eyes and Jughead is taken back by the heat in the them. “Betty and me, man, we were your family. From the time we were kids, it was the three of us against the world and maybe I wasn’t a great friend the last couple years but Betty has never not been there for you.”

Jughead swallows, looking at his feet. “I know-”

“And the thing is, Juggie,” he tells him, using the nickname he almost never hears from him these days, “she watched you put on a leather jacket for a legacy you were too _ashamed_ of to even tell us about and she supported you. And then you treat her like she didn’t know what it was like to lose her family? Like she couldn’t possibly understand what being alone felt like?”

Furrowing his brow, Jughead wants to argue that he didn’t do that. “But-”

Archie keeps cutting him off. “Her entire family fell apart and apparently it didn’t count because your mom took off with Jellybean a couple years ago. My mom moved out of state too, Jug. Life is hard, man. But you? You seem to get off on making it harder for yourself.”

“I know I’ve been distracted-”

“Nah, Jug. What you’ve been? Is a selfish prick,” he interrupts again. As he’s about to turn to go back into his house he pauses before speaking. “And by the way? Betty left days ago. She waited for a week for you to call her or text her. She waited for you to show up at her door before you got whatever it is you got that made you feel guilty enough to finally show your face.”

Archie sighs heavily. “Jughead. You’ll always be my brother but I want to know one thing.”

“What?”

“If you treated the Serpents the way you’ve been treating Betty, would they still forgive you the way she did? The _family_ you made without her while she watched, would they forgive you the same sins?” he asks him. “Because I don’t think they would.”

With that Archie goes back into his house leaving Jughead on the porch to stare at Betty’s house. A house with no Betty in it. No Betty to forgive him and tell him it’s okay. No bright green eyes and a comforting touch to hold him through his demons. No smile as bright as the sun as he kisses her hello or goodnight.

His head hanging as he makes his way to his bike he remembers the fight that got him where he was. Alone.

_“I need to be there, Betty. It’s important that I be at Serpent events, you know that.”_

_Betty is nodding at him, a sad smile on her face. “I know. I was just thinking since my mom will be visiting Polly-”_

_“Betts, we can be alone anytime, this isn’t something I can just skip, it’s Fangs’ birthday party, Toni and Sweet Pea want it to be a surprise.”_

_He sees Betty is blinking rapidly, trying to compose herself. Watching her pull her Cooper facade together he’s trying not to be irritated with her pushing him on this. It’s only one night._

_“Okay. I understand, I do, but-” She stops and swallows. “-I was hoping to you’d want to come over and maybe we could even hang out with Archie, like old times.”_

_Jughead huffs a laugh out at her. “Old times? Are we supposed to sit around telling the same old stories like some family reunion?”_

_“Jughead,” Betty says, the hurt on her face clear. “What are you saying?”_

_“When’s the last time Archie came to hang out with me, Betty? When’s the last time he did more than send a text asking me what’s going on?” Jughead rolls his eyes._

_“Archie’s your family, Jug, we both-”_

_“The Serpents are my family, Betty, I need to be for them,” he says, making her take a step back. She looks shocked and he’s so frustrated that he runs his hand through his hair, forgetting for a moment about his hat before grabbing it off his head and re-adjusting it back into to place._

_By the time he realizes what he’s done and what he’s said, he’s left standing alone in the middle of his living room not knowing if Betty just broke up with him or not._

_The next night, he was nursing a drink at the Wyrm trying to blend in with the walls while everyone around him laughed and enjoyed the party. He hadn’t heard from Betty, he didn’t even know if he still had a girlfriend, honestly. The more he sat on it the angrier that he got that she didn’t offer to come to the Wyrm, to spend the night with him, she knew he needed to be around for these parties as the leader of the Serpents. How would it look if the person they put in charge couldn’t be bothered to support one of his brothers?_

_He winces when he sees Cheryl sit down next to him. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone right now, let alone Cheryl Blossom of all people._

_“What are you doing here?” she asks disdainfully. “Shouldn’t you be climbing through the Cooper’s windows like the leather lothario only Cousin Betty seems to think you are?”_

_“It’s Fangs’ birthday, of course I’m going to be here,” he says with a glare at her._

_She looks surprised. “Really? You’re not going to Betty’s later? You weren’t with her earlier?”_

_Jughead leans back at her shock and lack of nickname for Betty. “What are you talking about?”_

_Shaking her head at him, she looks at him in disapproval. “I know you’ve been busy, oh mighty Serpent Prince, but tell me that I’m mixed up and I am not staring at my cousin’s boyfriend drinking in a bar celebrating someone else’s birthday right now.”_

_“Why would that even matter to you, Cheryl?”_

_She flips her hair over her shoulder and stands up with a disgusted look. “Because, Jones, it’s Betty’s birthday today too.”_

 

* * *

 

“I know you’re sad, B, but you’re at the beach,” Veronica says, gesturing to the water with smile.

“I’m still processing.” Betty smiles sadly at her. “Thanks for inviting me to your family’s beach house, I probably should have just agreed the first time you asked.”

“You’re always welcome where I am, you know that. And you take all the time you need, but while you’re doing it, you’re gonna do it with a tan and sunmade highlights in that gorgeous blonde hair of yours!” Veronica exclaims, pushing her sunglasses to sit higher on her nose and setting her phone on her thigh.

“It just-it never occured to me he wasn’t on the same page, V,” Betty says, repeating the same sentiment she’s been saying for days now. “I can’t believe how selfish I’ve been to not even realize how I’ve been planning a life with someone who was planning their own-”

“Betty! You are not selfish and you need to stop that line of thinking,” Veronica interrupts. “Jughead made bad choices, too, you can’t keep blaming yourself for everything that went wrong.”

“Why would he stay with me, Veronica? If I was such an inconvenience in his life?” Betty asks, tears threatening to fall for the third time since they ate breakfast that morning. “I know he was busy and stressed out, I tried to be supportive, I thought I was, I didn’t think I was asking for too much-”

“He loved you, Bettykins, you know that.”

“Did he?”

“Of course he loved you, I know he did,” Veronica reassures her.

“ _Loved._ Even you say it past tense. Was it that obvious to everyone but me?”

“Betty-”

“No, you told me to wake up and see what I was ignoring and I did. I see it now. I just thought we would be forever, not a detour.”

“We all did.”

Betty wipes her eyes and stares at the rolling waves in front of her. “Yeah, everyone but Jug.”

 

* * *

 

He’s staring at his phone in horror. Having called Veronica as a last ditch effort, he was shocked when she actually answered. After no one had said anything to him he was about to hang up when he heard the sweet sound of Betty’s voice.

Jughead hadn’t realized how much support Betty had been giving him with the Serpents, he never noticed she was cleaning or cooking food for the trailer, washing his clothes in her free time so he could run a gang he knew he wasn’t equipped to run and refused to let go of out of pride. Most of the elders had no interest in helping him find his feet and he already felt like he’d been taking at least a year too long to actually get a good grip on the reigns of being in charge.

Hearing her take all of the blame for his failures was like salt in a wound he wasn’t aware he’d had. And then to hear her think he didn’t even love her anymore was enough to make him nauseous.

Thinking back, he can clearly see the slow decline of their relationship.

_“Juggie, I was thinking we could spend the day together, what do you think?” she asks with a sunny smile, wearing a pretty sundress that shows her shoulders to the summer sun._

_“Sorry, Betts, I need to meet Sweet Pea at the Wyrm,” he says with regret. “How about tomorrow?”_

_“Sure,” she agrees easily._

_Tomorrow never came_

_*_

_“Are you coming to Archie’s performance this weekend?” she asks as they lay in bed, both happy they found a few hours to spend alone together._

_“What performance?”_

_“He got some all ages club owner in Greendale to let him play for the crowd on Friday. He’s not getting paid but he says the exposure is important.”_

_Jughead exhales and shakes his head. “I can’t, I-”_

_“It’s okay, Jug, I’ll tell Archie you’re busy, don’t worry,” she says with an soft smile, squeezing his arm in support._

_He doesn’t watch Archie perform for at least a year after that._

_*_

_“Hey Jug,” Betty says as soon as he answers the phone._

_“What’s up, Betty?”_

_“Well, I was thinking you might want to come to the river-”_

_“I can’t, baby, the Serpents are going to the quarry. You should come with,” he interrupts, trying to find his keys while talking to her._

_“Are you sure?”_

_“Yeah, it’ll be fun.”_

_He holds her hand that day but only talks to her for maybe five minutes._

_*_

_He forgets an anniversary and her smile barely falters as she hands him the gift she got him._

_*_

_He spends Christmas at Toni’s grandfather’s house, telling Betty he’ll be at her house for dinner, four o’clock sharp._

_He loses track of time and shows up at eight o’clock instead._

_*_

_It’s Valentine’s Day and though he hates it, he’s promised Betty that they’d spend the night together. She’s standing on his porch about to knock, wearing her hair down and a light pink dress._

_He’d been on his way out, he’d forgotten what day it was._

_*_

_He misses a birthday party for the twins Alice insisted on having during one of Polly’s visits._

_*_

_He doesn’t text her back. He forgets to call. He makes promises he can’t keep. He tells her things will calm down once he figures out how to handle everything._

_She smiles. She understands. She accepts. She supports. She makes promises she keeps and believes him that it’s just temporary and they’ll get back to their normal soon._

_*_

_He takes her for granted._

 

* * *

 

Veronica answers her phone at eleven o’clock in the evening to a weary Jughead.

“Hello, Forsythe.” Her tone is icy. “How may I help you?”

 _“She thinks I don’t love her anymore?”_ He sounds broken.

“Somehow she thinks she did this to the both of you,” Veronica tells him cooly. “I watched it, Jughead, I watched you tell her every time you missed something, every time you postponed a date, every time you decided your precious Serpents, you know, the ones you haven’t known for the last thirteen years were more important than her and I told her to have some damn self preservation but she’s a glutton for punishment, our Betty.”

_“This isn’t her fault-”_

“It’s at least half her fault,” Veronica interrupts. “Don’t do that to her, don’t put her on the pedestal she can’t keep her balance on. She should have yelled and cried and maybe put little holes in that wool monstrosity on your head out of passive aggressive anger but she didn’t. She let you do it as much as you did it to her. You’re not a mind reader and she’s not a doormat and you both treated the other like you were, you’re both at fault here, Jughead.”

_“Veronica, I need to talk to her.”_

“That didn’t occur to you in the seven days she waited?”

A heavy sigh comes across the line. _“I-”_

“Yeah, I know,” she cuts him off. “You have your pride, don’t you? But guess what you don’t have, Jones? You don’t have Betty.”

She can hear the sharp inhale of breath he takes. “So, FP Three, what are you going to do? If you can’t be the boyfriend she needs maybe you need to let her go-”

 _“No!”_ is yelled so loudly she has to hold the phone slightly away from her ear.

“Then just what _are_ you going to do?”

 _“I-I don’t know what to do, I don’t-I can’t keep losing her, Veronica.”_ A shaky breath. _“There is nothing about a life without Betty that I want.”_

Smiling to herself she decided to throw him the bone she’d been holding on to. “Finally, something you say makes some sense. Check your email in about five minutes and you’ll find the details to claim the plane ticket I bought you. If you mess this up, Jughead Jones, I will convince Betty to come live with me and I’ll personally send you pictures of every date I can get her to go on, is that clear?”

_“I’ll be there.”_

 

* * *

 

“How do you manage to go back to the city after spending a month here every summer?” Betty asks Veronica, laying out in her swimsuit for the third day in a row. The big sunglasses on her face are hiding how tired she knows she looks.

“Force of will, B.”

Betty turns her head to look at her laying on the chaise lounge next to hers. She’s laid out with a floppy hat and sunglasses, the black bathing suit she’s wearing looking effortlessly chic.

“Hey, Veronica. Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, Betty-love,”

Rolling over to face her fully she pulls her glasses off and lays her cheek on the hand she’s tucked under her head. “Are you over Archie? I mean really over him?”

Veronica looks at her sharply. “Betty-”

“No, V, I know you hate talking about it but I need to know, I need to know if I’ll ever feel like my heart isn’t missing all its pieces.”

“Betty,” Veronica sighs, glancing past her shoulder in contemplation for a second before looking back at her. “I will always love Archie. And I think loving someone means they’re always one of your weaknesses, so no, I may never be completely over him. I don’t think I want to be, letting him go fully feels like forgetting and I’m never going to want to forget my Archiekins.”

“Then why-”

“Just because it isn’t our time now doesn’t mean it can’t be our time later,” she interrupts. “And, you know, I really think you’ll be okay.”

“I wish I could believe you.”

Veronica smiles at her, checking the time on her phone. “Can you go get the sunscreen? I think I left it in my bathroom.”

Betty nods and makes her way back to the beach house, so lost in thought she completely misses the dark figure sitting on the sofa in the living room, looking completely out of place in the light and airy room, the light blue of the cushions contrasting sharply with the black of his jeans and shirt.

“Betty.”

“Jughead?”

 

* * *

 

He’s been sitting on the sofa in Veronica’s family’s pretentious beach house for over an hour with his head in his hands by the time he sees Betty walk through the door. She’s not paying attention and he knows that face, the one that says she’s thinking deeply and completely distracted.

Swallowing the lump in his throat he says her name to get her attention. “Betty.”

“Jughead?” She immediately crosses her arms defensively and stares at the floor. “What are you doing here?”

“I needed to see you,” he tells her in a rough voice. “I need to talk to you.”

“You flew out here to talk to me?” she asks, her eyes narrowing. “I was at home all last week. Where was your desire to talk to me then?”

He closes his eyes and runs his hands through his hair again, the beanie long abandoned on the table in front of him. “Betty-”

“I’ve been waiting for you to actually speak real words to me for months, Jug. All I’ve gotten is _hello_ and _goodbye_ and _sorry, I’ll make it up to you,_ and _oh, can that wait,_ but now you want to talk to me? To tell me what, Jughead?” She’s yelling by the end and he’s glad she’s got her fire back. “What do you want to tell me? That the Serpents made you king of the whole Southside? That their king needs to be at their beck and call? That you don’t need to spend time with your Northsider girlfriend and why can’t you find a nice Southside girl?”

Jughead rears back in shock. “You heard that?”

Betty scoffs. “Of course I did. So, Jughead, you already made your choice, long ago. Why are you here?” She’s glaring at him. The heat of her eyes would burn him if they could.

He stands up, facing her from across the table with determination. “I love you.”

She looks like he slapped her. Her eyes are wide and she looks like she’s on the verge of being torn between screaming and sobbing. He keeps going.

“I love you, Betty. I used the fact that you martyr yourself to my advantage because it made my life easier. I ignored you and I let you down. I neglected our relationship and I gave you all of the weight to carry because I didn’t want to do it when I felt like I had so much other stuff going on,” he says, taking a breath. “I assumed you’d always be there because you always have been. I took you for granted and I didn’t love you the way you deserve.”

“What-”

“No, let me finish. I’ve been a terrible boyfriend to you and what’s worse, what’s so much worse, Betty, is that I’ve been a terrible friend to you too. Your family is a mess and I brushed it off because I thought mine was worse. I forgot dates, your  _birthday_ even, and ignored the things I knew were important to you because I was failing to handle my own bullshit. I’ve been self-involved and honestly Betty? I have no idea why it took you so long to leave.”

Betty is crying as she whispers, “Because I love you.”

Wiping her cheeks off she continues. “I love you and I let you push me off and ignore me and make me feel like I wasn’t important, and that’s on me. I sucked it up and smiled through it as your friends became more and more important to you and I wanted that for you, Jughead, I do want it for you but I never once thought you’d forget about me.”

“I didn’t mean to-”

“Isn’t that just the thing, Jug? You never mean for anything to happen and when you’re not fighting the world, you’re letting it happen to you! Balance has never been your strong point and I accept that, I was willing to stand back and let you handle what you needed to in your own way because you’re too stubborn to accept help sometimes and you’re too prideful to admit when you can’t do something. I love and hate those things about you and I wouldn’t change them, they make you who you are but I feel like you used them as weapons against me.”

He feels like she just stabbed him in the gut. Not able to stop the tears that start to roll down his face, he just pushes at them with the back of his hand as he hears the pain in her voice.

“I love you so much, Juggie, I do, but I kept ruining us further-” Betty starts crying harder, trying to get the words out. “All I wanted was you and when I figured out you didn’t want the same thing, I had no idea how we got there.”

“I want you, I always want you, I’ll _always_ want you,” he insists firmly through a breaking voice. “There is no life I want where you’re not in it.”

“You could have fooled me,” she whimpers, her lip wobbling as she tries to hold back more tears.

“I wanted to get this right, Betty, I wanted to lead the Serpents and prove that I could do it. If I could do that, then maybe-”

“Maybe what?”

“Then,” he sighs, “just maybe I can be the man who gets to marry Betty Cooper one day. You’re the best thing I have and the only thing I’m completely certain I’ll want for forever.”

Betty is staring at him and he has no idea what she’s thinking, something that he hates. He wants to know every face she makes.

“You...you want to marry me?” she asks, disbelief clear in her words.

“Sometimes -oh god- sometimes, Betty, I think it’s all I’ve ever wanted,” he chokes out, wiping a fist under his eye. “There’s no me without you and I’ll never forgive myself for letting you think otherwise.”

They’re both crying in some over decorated beach house owned by a man that once tried to kill him and the only thing he can think of is that she’s still the most beautiful girl in the world. He takes a deep breath and gathers the tattered remains of his courage and rounds the table to approach her.

Reaching out tentatively he runs a thumb across her cheek, gathering the leftover tears and pushing them off her face. When she doesn’t retreat he takes the chance to gather her in his arms, wrapping them tightly around her. Pushing his face into her hair as he feels her arms lock around his back he whispers in her ear, “This isn’t how Romeo and Juliet get a happy ending, baby, we can do better than this.”

She’s nodding into his collar before he hears her speak. “We can do better than this. We _are_ better than this.”

Leaning back to look at her face, he moves to cup her cheeks in his hands, kissing her softly before saying, “There’s my girl. I’ve missed her.”

Betty breaks at his words and starts sobbing again as she throws her arms around his neck, holding onto him tightly. Hugging her back, he’s stroking her hair, her back, up and down her sides in all the ways he knows comforts her when he realizes something.

“Betts, you’re in a bathing suit.”

Laughing, she pulls back to look up at him. “You just noticed that?”

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, what did we think? 
> 
> I wanted to see if I could actually, like, make it emotional? Success? Failure? You can tell me, I can take it. I'm very brave that way. And it had to be forgivable. Because some things are just simply unforgivable to me in a relationship, so there's that. Anyone in a long term relationship can tell you how easy it is to just assume they'll be there and how easy is it is to hurt them with it.
> 
> Anyway, I really do want to hear your thoughts since I've never done something like this before so comments are, as always, appreciated. 
> 
> BESOS! No, like, hardcore besos to you guys. Legit besos. All the mothertrucking besos. 
> 
> You can [tumble](https://thetaoofbetty.tumblr.com/) with me if you want to, I hardly ever bite anymore.


End file.
